Uninspired.

Posted on November 30, 09 Filed under mind, body & spirit 5 Comments

For years I’ve gone on about how inspiring things are, how unique and intriguing things are. Right now, I’m feeling very uninspired. To the point of boredom. I’m not blaming anything or anyone in particular (except for myself, I suppose) for my feelings towards my life right now. It really feels like I’m just ‘going through the motions’ – doing what I have to do to survive, ie. getting up, going to work, coming home, eating dinner, going to bed. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I’ve not always felt like this. I used to feel inspired every day, feel different every day, and have something new to talk about or just feel a certain way about. Lately, that’s been lacking. I don’t know if it’s the aspect of settling into a new phase of life (marriage) or if its something else. I mean, with my feeling this way so soon after getting married, the average person would think it has something to do with that, but I can honestly say I don’t know why I’m like I am.

I’m tired. Honestly, I’ve never felt this tired in my entire life. And it’s consistent. Constant tired, constant struggle to keep my eyes open and my mind ‘on the job’. I’m only 21 – I’m meant to be lively and full of energy, not dull and boring and almost asleep by 9pm.

I’m feeling lost, I guess is the best way to put it. I’m in a rut. I don’t feel like I’m heading in any particular direction. I’m sitting stagnant. Maybe my subconscious feels there’s nothing left to do – I have a good job, I’m married – that’s what life says is all you need, right? Well, life, you’re wrong. I need more than just the job and marriage. I need stimulation. I need a few more challenges. I need something to mix it up once in a while. I mean, is that so much to ask?

This is just my head, at 10:55pm on a Monday night. I’ll probably be fine in the morning.

5 Comments on "Uninspired."



Brianne
Twitter: says:
December 1, 2009 at 2:05pm

I have these days as well. I think everyone does. I’m sure some day soon you’ll see something, I don’t know what, but something that will make you stop in awe and feel amazing. It may only last a moment, but it’ll come! Tonight I saw a brilliant sunset and couldn’t stop staring at it. It really helped me. :)

Tran says:
December 1, 2009 at 9:01pm

I actually felt rather hopeless a few weeks ago. Sometimes in the morning I ponder whether or not there’s a reason for me getting up, and nothing ever comes to mind.

The feeling goes away though, but whether it comes back or not, I’m unsure.

Keep well :)

Angie says:
December 2, 2009 at 11:31am

That just means you are about to start a time of reawakening.

Sarah says:
December 2, 2009 at 7:11pm

Part of it is the season and lack of sunlight I’m sure. If you are tired that often I would suggest getting a checkup, it could be something as lack of quality sleep, hormones, etc.

Perhaps find a new project to throw yourself into would help “inspire” you in other aspects of your life?

Terri
Twitter: says:
December 2, 2009 at 8:09pm

@Sarah – I’d believe you if it were Winter here, but it’s Summer and there’s plenty of sunlight. I do have lack of sleep, particularly in the last six months which, compared to the 8 or so months before that, I didn’t have a cat waking me up at 4am every day (he was in a separate room). I’m just over feeling tired.