This is a highly egotistical question, and one I’ve been dwelling on the answer of for days.
I honestly don’t know what my reason for being here is. I know that I have so many opportunities in my life, both in the past and in the future, but I really cannot say why I think I’m here. My life’s purpose has not yet become evident to me.
I see myself as a very spiritual person, very Aquarian in that respect (and yes, I am actually Aquarian too!), and I’ve been told I have an old soul; I’ve shown maturity and knowledge beyond my years. My friend Mel, when discussing what witch’s tool would you say you are, said she saw me as a Book of Shadows – full of knowledge and reference. For me, this means I’ve lived before. Say what you will about reincarnation, but I am certain that it exists and I’m at least into my second round (I have bizarre deja vu from time to time – so accurate that it is sometimes scary). It’s been proven that energy never dies, so where does our spirit go (assuming that our spirit is energy) when we take our last breath?
So being that I’m at least into my second round, I wonder if this lifetime is about me learning. About learning things to pass on to my next life. If anything, I think that’s what it’s about.
There’s at least two things I can think of, but since the legalised marijuana argument has been beaten to death, I will go with Euthanasia.
Euthanasia refers to the practice of ending a life in a manner which relieves pain, suffering or a life considered less than worth living. According to the House of Lords Select Committee on Medical Ethics, the precise definition of euthanasia is “a deliberate intervention undertaken with the express intention of ending a life, to relieve intractable suffering.” ~Wikipedia
I’ve known too many instances where people have suffered through terminal illnesses, where they know they’re not going to get better; where they’ve been bedridden and hospitalised for months; where they live as vegetables. It’s not quality of life.
I don’t really know what more to say on the topic, other than if it’s my life, then I should be able to choose what happens to me. Animals who are not likely to recover are put out of their misery as soon as possible; should this not be the same for human beings?
I don’t know about hopes and dreams, since most of my short-term hopes and dreams have been achieved – I have a house, I’m married and I am living somewhat comfortably.
I guess my plans are to get rid of some debt (and I’m not talking the home and personal loans, which I pay and can’t touch again!), and to start trying for a family.
A hope I have is that Michael gets his driver’s licence too, since both of us being able to drive would give us a little more freedom. Michael goes to training 20 minutes away, three times a week, so it would be nice for him to be able to drive himself to and from training.
I can’t really think of anything else, other than the usual “lose weight”!
Oh yeah, and a photo:
This is going to be long – I apologise.
For the last 8+ months, I’ve really struggled with feeling ‘closed in’ by stuff. I have tried organising myself, and tidying up, but even after my efforts, the house still looks untidy and like everything isn’t in its right place.
I mean, it could be because we have quite a bit of ‘stuff’ (despite my efforts to reduce the amount of stuff) and only a small house with very little built-in storage – which then requires the need to buy free-standing storage, which in turn takes up floor space, eventuating in rooms looking even more ‘busy’ or cluttered than they did before.
It’s literally driving me crazy – I come home and I feel instantly depressed by the amount of crap surrounding me.
I’ve been through all my clothes about 5 times in the last 6 or so months to throw out what I don’t need, but I’m seriously down to just the stuff I wear all the time now. We only have a small wardrobe (about 3 foot wide, and we share that) and a tallboy chest of drawers (two drawers each). That’s it for clothes storage.
I’m in the process of clearing out our spare room, which is again full of crap, but there’s stuff in there I just can’t bring myself to throw out, even though I know I haven’t even touched it, let alone used it, for the last 12 months. Stuff that has sentimental value, or “I will use it one day” value. So that’s all sitting on the spare room bed at the moment, waiting for me to look at it again.
My next huge issue is our study/office. We have literally 5 book shelves in here, only two of them contain any books. One houses a printer (two shelved bookcase), the other holds my computer games and a couple of baskets of more stuff I can’t bring myself to throw out (four shelve, narrow bookcase), and the other one (the largest) holds the majority of our DVDs. Hubby has been an angel in going through all the DVDs and cleaning out all the ‘illegitimate’ ones (all the copies) and putting them in a CD wallet, but there’s still a mass of them and even though they’re stacked neatly, it still looks messy. I’ve been looking for alternative accommodation for them, namely a chest of drawers or something that will house all of them out of sight.
This is all before I even mention the kitchen, dining room and lounge room.
I’m really ripping my hair out here. It’s driving me completely mental, depressed and in tears nearly every day over this shit. Tomorrow I’m going to go put ‘No Junk Mail’ stickers on the mailbox, so we can at least limit that coming into the house, but what about the rest?
