I know that I was faced with a big decision when I was about to get married – whether to take my husband’s surname or continue going by my maiden name (despite being married). I played with the idea of hyphenation but ‘Hyland-Baran’ didn’t sound right to me.
As it turned out, I ended up taking my husband’s surname but I sometimes wonder if it would even matter that much – any subsequent children of the marriage will take hubby’s surname (which I have nothing against), and so there’d be little to be confused or worried about. I do sometimes wish I’d stuck with my maiden name, however most of the time I don’t even think about it.
This got me thinking about women who do hyphenate their names.
Say John Smith married Jane Jones, and Jane decides to hyphenate her name to Jones-Smith. Fine, fair enough.
But do the children then take on the name of their father (Smith) or do they take on their mother’s hyphenated name (Jones-Smith). The latter case worries me a little, because when a male child grows up, they’re then passing on their father’s and mother’s surname on to both their new wife (assuming she takes on his name at all) and possibly their children will then take on the same name. This then gives three generations with a hyphenated surname.
I’m probably looking too much into it, but it’s kind of a personal annoyance of mine – if you decide to hyphenate your name when you marry, that’s your decision, but in the majority of cases (other in those where the child is a product of rape or if the father doesn’t want to be involved in its life, for example) I do think that children should take on their father’s surname. It just makes things… easier in the long term.
What are your thoughts?
Sorry for being MIA for so long. I actually completely forgot about the whole blogging thing in amongst everything that I’ve had going on.
In August and September, I was helping to prepare, organise and enjoy the Australian Wiccan Conference – we had an absolute ball. It was an amazing energy with incredible people that I’ll never forget. Considering it was my first large gathering, included my first large ritual (ie more than 5-6 people) and my first national gathering, it was a real eye-opener for me, and a really emotional, spiritual experience. Loved every minute of it. The energy was just awesome.
So most weekends in August and the start of September was taken up with preparing decorations and small items for the Conference. I loved every minute of helping to organise the event and would do it again in a heartbeat.
My parents left for Europe on Saturday just been and it’s been really quite strange without them around already (it’s only been 4 days out of a 3-week trip!). I’m trying to keep an eye on my brother after last time without being too overbearing. I know that was over two years ago but I’m still not sure if he’s grown up much since then.
Unfortunately, at 2:00am Monday morning, Michael received a phone call that his Grandma had passed away. 2011 has not been a good year for us in terms of loss – I’ve lost more people close to me in the last 6 months than most people do in 5+ years. We’re not sure when the funeral will be, most likely next Monday or Tuesday, but that will mean a trip to Adelaide for Michael – we can’t both afford to go so just him and his sister will be attending.
So really, it’s been a hectic couple of months, hence my only posting now. Hopefully life will get back on track a little more and we can live some normalcy for a while. I’m trying to get in touch with myself again, spiritually. Finding it difficult to focus with everything going on but will try my best.
As much as it sounds ridiculous (it even does to me), the 1996 film “The Craft” changed my life.
How? The film introduced me to what was, for me, a foreign concept – Witchcraft – and while I was only about 10 or 11 at the time I saw this film, I was urged to find out more. Of course it started out with me wanting to be like the girls in the film, changing my eye colour or hair style just through spells, but the more research I did, the more I found out about Witchcraft and, in turn, I found there was a whole religion called Wicca. This was where my journey into Paganism began, and as I got older and discovered more and more, I felt like I was home. There was a huge wave of calm wash over me, I’d found my calling, I’d found my place, and (as much as I hate to use the term) I’d found my label. When people asked me what religion I was, I could answer them without hesitation.
I am Pagan, and my journey started just through watching a simple (somewhat cheesy) film.
There’ve been other films that have have profound effects on my life – The Shawshank Redemption, Shutter Island, Mississippi Burning. But I think The Craft is the one that has changed me.
Physically: My weight. I’ve always struggled with my weight. I got on the scales today and realised I’ve put on over 3kg this Winter, which is not good. I’ve been lazy and unmotivated, tired and busy with work.
I have decided, though, that I will try – at least try – to get a 30+ minute walk in every day. I think I owe it to Sadie (our puppy) who needs the daily exercise but since we both work full-time 5 days a week, we’re just not feeling like going out every day after working all day.
For the first time, though, I’ve noticed the changes that have happened to me as I’ve gained this weight back on. I’m more lethargic, I’m feeling nauseous a lot, and I’m out of breath a lot too. My heart has been palpitating, which is NOT good, and my hips hurt from carrying the extra weight. I’ve never before noticed the physical changes, even when I was a lot bigger than what I am now. It’s motivating enough to want to change it back to the way things were.
Mentally: My attitude. I turn into a righteous bitch at the best of times, and I really need to get that out of my system. I’m not a teenager or a child any more, I’m a grown woman with responsibilities and I need to quit it with my childish attitude. It doesn’t help that occasionally Michael or family will treat me like a child (you treat me like a child, I’ll act like one), but I’m not blaming them at all – ultimately it’s my behaviour and I’m the one who has to change that.
So yeah, that’ll do 
