We’re all going to die. It’s inevitable. Sometimes it comes unexpectedly, others it is a long and drawn-out process.
My Nana is on her way out, after many years of pain, suffering and heartache. She’s been too stubborn to go up till now, but today was the first time she’s mentioned death, and she was asking about everyone and telling my mum she was going to die.
My heart is in my throat and my stomach is in knots. While I know this had to happen at some point, I don’t know if I’m a hundred percent ready for this one right now – I’ve always seen my Nana as a strong woman, who never took any shit from anyone. She has been a real matriarch, and while I’ve seen her downturn over the last 5 or so years, I still didn’t expect this to happen now.
I went to see a psychic a few weeks ago, and she said the reason I’ve had so many people I know pass away in the last twelve months (4 funerals in 12 months is kind of rough) is because the Universe has seen I’m ready to handle it. I don’t know if I can handle this one…
I’ve been watching a lot of YouTube videos and reading blogs about fashion (mostly Dulce Candy‘s) and it’s got me thinking about my own personal style.
While most of the time I wear t-shirts and jeans, I do like to get dressed up once in a while. And while I think I look really awesome (without being egotistical, I think I look pretty), as soon as I leave the house I feel self-conscious, awkward, fat and, sometimes, miserable. It’s often tempting to turn my ass around and go change.
Case in point: my birthday outfit. I bought a really cute dress with an empire waist, white on top, thick black belt and black bottom. It came to just above my knees and when I tried it on I loved it. It suits my body shape, and with the right underwear smoothes out my lumps and bumps.
As soon as I got to the restaurant for dinner, I feel so self-conscious I just wanted to crawl inside myself and die. And I HATE feeling like that when I, honestly, look really nice. Feeling awkward is my biggest deal, I think – I don’t normally wear heels or dresses/skirts, so when I do I don’t feel ‘right’. But I enjoy wearing them and feeling feminine!
Anyone else had this same dilemma? And what would you call your personal style?
To answer my own question, I would call mine ‘neat casual’ – I’m never grotty (unless I’m just bumming around the house, of course), I will never leave the house in trackpants unless its just to go to my parents’ house or something – but I don’t really ever get dressed up, as such.
I know there’s people in the world way worse off than me, but damn having no money sucks ass.
Told myself I wouldn’t worry so much about money this year – I’m worrying about it more than ever.
I need some hints and tips on how to declutter.
I, personally, love to be organised – I’m always organised at work and I try to be at home. However, because we only have a small house and so much stuff, the house always seems cluttered regardless of how much ‘tidying up’ I do. I’m trying to take it one step at a time and declutter one area one day, another the next, etc. but by the time I finish the last area, the first one is a mess again.
Our kitchen, frankly, pisses me off because although we have underbench cupboards and drawers that are full, we still have so much crap on the countertops – like the toaster, chopping boards, the kettle and tea, coffee, etc. I’ve wondered if I should get separate little containers for the pantry and keep all of this stuff in there, but it’s so convenient having it on the counter.
In fact, typing out this blog entry has helped me think of ways to declutter the kitchen- the teas and such that we don’t use regularly can go away, while the coffee and sugar that we used on a daily basis can stay on the counter in square canisters that can be shoved right into the corner. Me thinks I will be buying some containers tomorrow! But what about the toaster? We can’t really shove it away in a cupboard because we use it every day and it would be a hassle to get it out all the time. What about chopping boards? Again, we use them daily, along with the kettle too.
My greatest problem is our bedroom – its small, so only a small amount of furniture will fit in and therefore limits storage space. Also, it’s the last place I am of a day and it’s always at a time where I can’t be fucked with putting stuff away, folding clothes, etc. Just can’t be fucked. So the bedroom floor is consistently a mess. I have tried clearing out huge amounts of clothes (and am currently sitting next to two bags of clothes ready to head to St Vincent de Paul) but there still seems to be too much. I’ve asked Michael to remind me that every time I buy a new item of clothing, I have to throw a piece out (in that sense, I’m replacing clothes rather than adding to my wardrobe). So if I buy a shirt, I have to throw one out. If I buy a pair of jeans, get rid of the old ones (I only really ever wear jeans till they have holes in them anyway).
How do you keep yourself organised?
P.S. – I turned 23 on Monday. How much more responsible and mature does 23 sound compared to 22? Heaps, I reckon.
