So tomorrow is Australia Day, and I’m super pumped – I don’t think we did much last year, so this year is going to be lots of fun. My parents are having a BBQ at their place with all the family. I’ve made a zucchini slice/quiche thing to take with me; I’ll be interested to see how it tastes. But most of all, I’m looking forward to a day off work.

I think there’s something about Australians that is so unique – and I’m probably just saying that because I am an Aussie and that’s all I know; I’m sure that every other person from the world’s nationalities feels the same way about their own country’s people – but we’re just so chilled about everything. We’re the world’s lazybums. Today, being the day between the weekend and Australia Day, around half a million Australians took the day off work, with the damage to the economy being estimated at $250 MILLION. And Australia’s population is only 21 million, so what’s that – 2.5% of the population, roughly? But that doesn’t take into account how many of the population are actually employed, so it probably brings it up to around 5%.
Anyway, complete tangent. I was not one of the slackers today – I worked, but there wasn’t really a whole lot to do. I was bored out of my brain, to be completely honest, and really looking forward to coming home.

This is a complete ramble blog entry. I only just realised. I think I’m getting tired. Yup, I am.

I might try vlogging soon – it seems to be the way for a lot of people nowadays, and part of the reason for not blogging so much here now is because I’m typing all day at work, so the last thing I want to do when I get home is type a whole heap.

Anywho – AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!!! OI OI OI!

Happy Australia Day, folks

*pst – less than 3 weeks till my birthday!*

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve been blessed with the job of taking over ‘Graphic Designer’ role for the Tasmanian Pagan Alliance, Inc. newsletter. The original GD, who had been in the role for 10 years, quit due to time and internet restraints, so I put my hand up straight away. I managed to pump out the latest newsletter, which was running late, in under 24 hours, so the State Coordinator and the Editor of the newsletter were really impressed with that – it makes me feel good to know I can contribute even more to this group I’m a part of.

Um so not much else to mention, other than mentioning the new endeavour that Catie and I have undertaken – check that out at Beauty-U. I’m meaning to post more there but the other things I’m doing (housework, Pagan Alliance stuff, etc.) have taken priority. I’ll try to post a couple of vids or blog posts this week.

Bushfires scattered around the state of Victoria have taken, at last count, over 130 lives. Houses burnt to the ground, livestock killed, memories lost, entire towns turned to ash.

I don’t know what more to say other than my sincere condolences and heartfelt prayers to all those affected by the Vic Bushfires. I can’t imagine what it must be like to go through this type of thing. I was sitting in tears last night, watching updates on Twitter as the death toll grew and grew – from 25 to that latest count of 130 – it’s beyond imaginable.

In addition, my gratitude goes to all the service people and volunteers who put their own lives at risk to help others – you are the true heroes of this nation (and by the way, can we stop calling sportspeople ‘heroes’? It’s ridiculous to even put them on the same level as these people risking their lives).

If you can and feel so inclined, please donate to the Australian Red Cross or the Salvation Army to assist those in need – don’t feel like you have to donate a fortune – I donated $10 and every little bit helps.

RIP to those lost. We will never forget you.

P.S. A note to Senator Stephen Conroy: How about taking the $128 million put aside for the stupid, useless fucking internet filter and giving it to the Vic Fires victims, hmm?

1. You know the meaning of the word ‘girt’.
2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
3. You think it’s normal to have a leader called Kevin.
4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.
5. You’ve made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.
6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son’s pencil case when he first attends school.
7. When you hear that an American ‘roots for his team’ you wonder how often and with whom.
8. You understand that the phrase ‘a group of women wearing black thongs’ refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.
9. You pronounce Melbourne as ‘Mel-bin’.
10. You pronounce Penrith as ‘Pen-riff’.
11. You believe the ‘l’ in the word ‘Australia’ is optional.
12. You can translate: ‘Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.’
13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
14. You call your best friend ‘a total bastard’ but someone you really, truly despise is just ‘a bit of a bastard’.
15. You think ‘Woolloomooloo’ is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
16. You’re secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that’s twice as big as its $2 coin.
18. You understand that ‘Wagga Wagga’ can be abbreviated to ‘Wagga’ but ‘Woy Woy’ can’t be called ‘Woy’.
19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.
20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.
22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels’ song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.
23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
24. You still don’t get why the ‘Labor’ in ‘Australian Labor Party’ is not spelt with a ‘u’.
25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.
26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.
27. You believe that the more you shorten someone’s name the more you like them.
28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
29. You understand that ‘excuse me’ can sound rude, while ‘scuse me’ is always polite.
30. You know what it’s like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
31. You understand that ‘you’ has a plural and that it’s ‘youse’.
32. You know it’s not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.
33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call ‘Anzac cookies’.
35. You still think of Kylie as ‘that girl off Neighbours’.
36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs – just in case you’re trying to sneak in fruit.
37. You believe the phrase ‘smart casual’ refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.
38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.
39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.
41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government’s new test for migrants.
42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says ‘cobber’.

Jess asked for some interpretations, after posting one of her own, so after the cut I’ll run through them…

1. ‘Girt’ makes it’s appearance in our national anthem in the line “Our home is girt by sea”. It means “surrounded”.
2. ‘Stubbies’ can be shorts, or bottles of beer.
3. Kevin Rudd is our new Prime Minister.
4. I’m not sure about the rest of the world, but Australia has fuel vouchers at the ends of reciepts from the supermarket, so quite often people will take many of these to get their 4c/litre off their fuel.
5. I don’t know about the whole bong thing, but at the moment it’s illegal to water the garden because we’re in the middle of a drought and most states are on heavy water restrictions.
6. A ‘rubber’ here is an eraser, so it’s fine to put it in your son’s pencil case!
7. ‘Root’ means ‘have sex with’. When we ‘root’ for a team, we say we ‘barrack’ for that team, rather than root.
8. Thongs in Australia are what most people would refer to as ‘flip-flops’. So a group of women in thongs means they’re wearing flip-flops.
9. Melbourne is pronounced “Mel-bin”. Not “Mel-born”.
10. I don’t know about Penrith because I’ve never been there, but knowing most Australians, most would pronounce it ‘Pen-riff”.
11. Most Australians don’t pronounce ‘Australia’ like it’s spelt (‘Os-tray-li-a’), but more like Os-traya. (Oh, and to all you Yanks, we’re not ‘Awe-sees’, we’re ‘Ozzies’)
12. ‘Darren (or Daniel) and Sharon (or Shirley) played AC/DC on the way to McDonalds.’
13. One thing that Australia is known for are it’s ‘Giant’ fibreglass tourist attractions. See more here
14. A lot of Aussies will call their mates by what normally would be considered terrible names, but mean it in the most loving way possible. It’s hard to explain, it’s just what we do.
15. Woolloomooloo is a place just outside Sydney. It’s believed that the name is derived from Australian Aboriginal words (click the link just above for more details).
16. Australia has so many poisonous critters, yet it’s part of our country and we’re proud of anything Australian. That’s about all I can say about that.
17. Yes, our $1 coin is larger than our $2 coin, and they’re the only two coins that are gold – all the rest are silver.
    
18. I’m not sure about this one – Wagga Wagga is a place in NSW and is informally called ‘Wagga’ for convenience (and because we’re lazy). Woy Woy is a place also in NSW, but I’m guessing because it’s only 2 syllables as opposed to the 4 of Wagga Wagga, it’s easy enough to say.
19. I don’t know what they’re talking about, but I can only guess it’s Vegemite.
20. Russell Crowe is a famous one. He’s actually a Kiwi (New Zealander), we claimed him, and then he screwed up so he’s now NZ’s problem.
21. It’s very Australian to have a slice of beetroot on your hamburger. In Australian McDonalds stores, there’s even a burger called the ‘McOz’ on the menu, which is basically a Quarter Pounder with a slice of beetroot and a slice of tomato on it.
22. It’s most important that if you’re going to sing along with this particular song that you shout out the words in the chorus. “AM I EVER GONNA SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN!”
23. There’s a biscuit/cookie/confection called a Wagon Wheel. They are originally English but like everything English it’s made its way onto our shelves. I don’t personally like them, but I remember them as a kid being HUGE, and now they’re tiny.
24. I don’t get it, and I often wonder why they did that. So what did I do but Wiki it:
    

    The ALP adopted the formal name Australian Labour Party in 1908, but changed to the American spelling of Labor from 1912. While it is standard practice in Australian English to spell the word labour with a u, the Party has spelt it without one since Labor cabinet minister King O’Malley thought he would “modernise” the name at the time, due to the apparent influence of the American labour movement.

25. Ugh boots are Australian. End of story. And it’s not uncommon to wear them out and about. And yes, it’s UGH, not UGG – darn Americans stole them from us and renamed them.
26. See above. Not to mention Vegemite was also bought out by Americans, dual-flush toilets, etc. Take a look at some Australian inventions.
27. As indicated up there somewhere, ‘Dazza’ is often short for Darren or Daniel, ‘Shazza’ for Sharon or Shirley – I’ve personally be shortened to ‘Tezza’ or ‘Tez’, so I must be well liked…
28. Australia has a large Asian population (mainly due to being close neighbours), so to get buy you need to be able to order Asian food of any kind.
29. ‘Excuse me’ is too posh for Aussies. We need to be nice, so shortening it to ‘Scuse me’ is more informal and friendly.
30. We also have a large house- and blow-fly population. They are annoying. They get in your face and will often go up your nose or down your throat by accident.
31. It’s very common to hear ‘Did youse go to the footy on the weekend?’. I think it’s shortening ‘You guys’ to just ‘Youse’.
32. It gets ultra-hot here in Summer, and if you own a car, it gets to boiling point in there if you don’t leave a window open. You will burn your hands on the steering wheel, guaranteed.
33. Cricket – a sport I hate but Australia loves – is often the game of choice at family events, whether it be beach or backyard. And it will more often than not end in some sort of argument over which rules to follow, and who gets to make the rules.
34. THEY’RE ANZAC BISCUITS, not cookies. Sheesh, people, some respect please.
35. Kylie Minogue played Charlene on Neighbours, so we’ll always remember her as Charlene.
36. Fruit fly is a huge problem in Australia – Tasmania, I think, is the only state without it. There is quarantine at many state borders to prevent fruit fly from reproducing, which can lead to huge problems with agricultural practices, a large part of Australia’s economy.
37. ‘Smart casual’ or ‘neat casual’ is usually just read as ‘casual’, so you wear what ever you want, as long as it’s clean and no holes. Oh, and ‘tracky-daks’ are trackpants or sweatpants.
38. No train runs on time. Ever.
39. I don’t understand this because I’m not male nor have I ever worked behind a bar, but I would guess that because Australians are such big drinkers, to ask for a low-alcoholic beverage requires some excuse because men should be burly and manly and drink full-strength beer.
40. Not many Australians even know that there’s a second verse to our National Anthem, because we mainly just sing the first and the chorus. But we sing that with all the patriotism we can build up. We’re all very proud of our country.
41. Yes – and note my last blog about the walking thing. That needs to be part of the test too.
42. Finally, ‘cobber’ means ‘mate’ or ‘friend’, but we’re more likely to use ‘mate’ than ‘cobber’ because, well, it’s one less syllable to say.