I thought it might be about time that I posted another blog entry, even though it’s rather obvious that I won’t be posting every day in August now.  I started off the first week, and then ran out of things to talk about.  I guess that happens when every day is the same old shit, day in and day out.

I don’t mean to complain – I love my life right now; I have a great job, a wonderful home, a loving husband and all those things that make life awesome – but I still feel like I’m lacking something.  I don’t like routine, and thus my job tends to get me down.  Not because of the work, but because of the routine I have to go through every day: get up, have breakfast, have a shower, brush teeth, do hair, put on makeup, get ass out the door, then go to work, lunch at 12:00, back to work, go home, eat dinner, browse the net, go to bed.  Rinse and repeat.

I think I’ll feel better about everything once I get my provisional licence (Ps)– I will be able to drive to work and not have to rush my mornings (another thing I hate is rushing and being put on a time limit).  I’m halfway to getting my Ps now – over halfway, in fact – and my dad mentioned to my mum that I’m “driving bloody good”, so to get Dad’s tick of approval means a lot, and gives me that much more confidence. I have to do 50 hours supervised driving, and I’ve got 23hrs 45mins left now.  If I do three hours driving a week, I should be ready by mid-October.  And considering we’re nearly in September already now, that’s not too far to go.

I do worry that I’m going to fail the test, but it’s not so much the failure of the test as losing the money I would have spent to take the test – it’s almost $76 to book and take the test, and if they find something wrong with your vehicle, you automatically fail before you even drive!  Then, you lose that money and have to wait 28 days before you can go again.  So that’s my main concern in this whole ordeal.  Otherwise, I’m pretty confident.  Do need to work on parking though, particularly reverse parking.  I think the odds are in my favour, because I’m older than most people going for their Ps (22 rather than 17 or 18), and chances are I’ll be taking the test in my work clothes, which means I’ll look a little more professional than most.  And while that shouldn’t matter, I think it will play a part in making me appear a responsible, sensible adult (which I like to think I am!).

I’m really looking forward to the freedom driving will give us.  I mean, not having to rely on someone to take us to and from the grocery store will be awesome!

Anyway, there’s my ramble for today, to keep you up-to-date.

Inspired by my dear friend Sarah, and after seeing this on a couple of other blogs, it caused me to reflect back on the last decade and see how much I’ve changed in what really is a relatively short amount of time. It still seems strange to me that I can even remember back ten years – I know that I’m 22 and that I was 12 then, but it still doesn’t seem right that I should be able to remember back that far. Anyway, here goes…

2000
Age 12. In Grade 6, my final year of primary school. I remember I had a major crush on a guy in my class. Getting ready to head off to high school. Killing Heidi were (and still are) my favourite band. Started really getting involved with computers and webdesign.

2001
Age 13. My first year of high school. Felt awkward and out-of-place. Met some beautiful people, and some mean ones too. Discovered my real love for webdesign and got stuck into it. Had many high school crushes. Met my best friend (at the time), Sarah. Started wearing makeup. Achieved high grades and was awarded an Outstanding Academic Achievement award.

2002
Age 14. Barely remember it, but this is the year I started dance classes at school and fell in love with it. Discovered more friends and made my first male best friend. Got my site hosted for the very first time. Started learning how to use FTP. Achieved high grades and was awarded an Outstanding Academic Achievement award.

2003
Age 15. Fell madly in love with a guy I met online, only to be dumped and told he’d been cheating on me. In the interim, fell for another guy online (Michael) and met him in November. Lost the ‘V-Plates’. High school musical production, great fun and awesome experience. Achieved high grades and was awarded an Outstanding Academic Achievement award, along with three subject awards for Social Science, Dance and Media Studies. Passed Learner’s Permit test and started driving lessons with my mum and dad.

2004
Age 16. Final year of high school. Many trips back and forth to Melbourne to see Michael. Entered the Rock Eisteddfod Challenge with my dance class, and came fourth out of about 20 schools. Grades dropped a bit, enough to miss out on the OAA award for the fourth time. Didn’t care; was in love.

2005
Age 17. First year of college (Year 11). Had a ball this year – great classes, more relaxed learning atmosphere. Studied English, Maths, Psychology & Sociology, Environmental Science and Religion & Philosophy. Hated Enviro Science, and quit. Went to Vanuatu in September for Michael’s sister’s wedding. LOVED IT. Decided to move to Melbourne at the end of the year to be with Michael.

2006
Age 18. Living with Michael and his mum & stepdad. Enjoyed it, but a lot of tension at times. Studied Year 12 via distance education but gave up. Started looking for work. Got my first proper job with a government initiative for apprentices. Loved it. Bought Inspirata.org. First nephew arrived, Jonah. Got engaged on New Year’s Eve.

2007
Age 19. Continued working. Moved into our own apartment in April. Enjoyed the freedom but it was expensive. Got our first pet, Layla. Got my first and second tattoos.

2008
Age 20. Got another kitty to keep Layla company, and called him Hendrix. Went to my first arena concert to see Ozzy Osbourne. Came out of the broom closet. By June, decided we’d had enough of paying an exorbatant amount of rent and decided to move back to Tasmania. Got my third (and kind of fourth) tattoos. Packed up and left in August. Moved in with Mum & Dad to get us on our feet. Michael got a job at a printer cartridge store. I continued looking for work.

2009
Age 21. Huge party for my 21st, with friends coming down from Melbourne. Layla passed away. Cried. A lot. Moved into a rental. Bought Terri.nu Had two job interviews in May, and accepted one position as Legal Secretary. Started living a little, since we now had two incomes. Decided to get married with 5 months to plan. Married in November.

2010
Age 22. Managed to hold down my job for 12 months +. Lost a close family member to suicide. Moved out of the rental and bought our own house. Became DIY-lover. Resced Delilah. Continuing to work. Michael’s best mate got married. And … ?

The other night, Michael and I had a bit of an argument – one of those arguments that every couple should have once in a while – and in trying to resolve it, I asked him what he wanted.

“I’d like to have a kid,” he said.

I was pretty astonished to hear that come from him. I know he loves children, particularly his nephew, but I didn’t know he’d be ready for this step so soon.

Since I was about 18, I’ve thought about the possibilities of having a child. The idea of man, woman & child under the one roof seems like one of those romantic ideals. But is it really? I mean, what’s romantic about going to bed at 9pm because your child has been awake screaming and pooping his/her nappy from 2am the previous morning, only for it to happen all over again tonight? There’s nothing romantic about getting your boobs out to feed a baby, regardless of the time or place. I think the idea of being pregnant appealed to me – people cooing and ‘aww’ing over your bulging belly, asking when you’re due, etc. But having a child? I don’t know. The thought of pushing a football-sized being out my va-hoo-hoo makes me cringe.

My other main concern is money. It shouldn’t be the be-all and end-all decision-maker when it comes to having a child, but I would like to be able to give my child the best possible start to life, and to be able to continue that for them, for the next 18+ years.

So I have suggested to Michael that, while I’m not against the idea, I think we should wait. We need to open a savings account (which we have now applied for), save away some money every pay week, and after, say, 6 or 12 months, we’ll reconsider and see how life is treating us then. We will also need hospital cover, which we don’t have yet and once we apply for it, we’ll need to have it for 12 months before being able to utilise it.

I do look forward to the day we start a family – I see women on the street pushing prams or carrying their babies around, and I do think that I’d like to be one of those people – I just think we need to plan ahead.