As it turned out, I ended up taking my husband’s surname but I sometimes wonder if it would even matter that much – any subsequent children of the marriage will take hubby’s surname (which I have nothing against), and so there’d be little to be confused or worried about. I do sometimes wish I’d stuck with my maiden name, however most of the time I don’t even think about it.

This got me thinking about women who do hyphenate their names.

Say John Smith married Jane Jones, and Jane decides to hyphenate her name to Jones-Smith. Fine, fair enough.

But do the children then take on the name of their father (Smith) or do they take on their mother’s hyphenated name (Jones-Smith). The latter case worries me a little, because when a male child grows up, they’re then passing on their father’s and mother’s surname on to both their new wife (assuming she takes on his name at all) and possibly their children will then take on the same name. This then gives three generations with a hyphenated surname.

I’m probably looking too much into it, but it’s kind of a personal annoyance of mine – if you decide to hyphenate your name when you marry, that’s your decision, but in the majority of cases (other in those where the child is a product of rape or if the father doesn’t want to be involved in its life, for example) I do think that children should take on their father’s surname. It just makes things… easier in the long term.

What are your thoughts?

In August and September, I was helping to prepare, organise and enjoy the Australian Wiccan Conference – we had an absolute ball. It was an amazing energy with incredible people that I’ll never forget. Considering it was my first large gathering, included my first large ritual (ie more than 5-6 people) and my first national gathering, it was a real eye-opener for me, and a really emotional, spiritual experience. Loved every minute of it. The energy was just awesome.

So most weekends in August and the start of September was taken up with preparing decorations and small items for the Conference. I loved every minute of helping to organise the event and would do it again in a heartbeat.

My parents left for Europe on Saturday just been and it’s been really quite strange without them around already (it’s only been 4 days out of a 3-week trip!). I’m trying to keep an eye on my brother after last time without being too overbearing. I know that was over two years ago but I’m still not sure if he’s grown up much since then.

Unfortunately, at 2:00am Monday morning, Michael received a phone call that his Grandma had passed away. 2011 has not been a good year for us in terms of loss – I’ve lost more people close to me in the last 6 months than most people do in 5+ years. We’re not sure when the funeral will be, most likely next Monday or Tuesday, but that will mean a trip to Adelaide for Michael – we can’t both afford to go so just him and his sister will be attending.

So really, it’s been a hectic couple of months, hence my only posting now. Hopefully life will get back on track a little more and we can live some normalcy for a while. I’m trying to get in touch with myself again, spiritually. Finding it difficult to focus with everything going on but will try my best.

I’ve held off writing this post for sometime (almost a month) because I didn’t want to cause any tension. But, I figured it’s my blog, my opinions and I’ll say what I like.

I’ll preface this, though, by saying I have absolutely no issue with people’s religious and/or spiritual beliefs. I figure you should be able to do/believe/think what you want, as long as you’re not hurting anyone (including yourself). This goes for atheists/agnostics too. So please don’t take this personally if you’re a religious person – unless you’re someone who is doing this sort of thing on a daily basis. What’s “this”, you may ask? Here goes…

So my Nana’s funeral was almost a month ago, on the 16th May. I obviously attended, along with my family. The funeral was held at an Anglican church and, my Nana and her immediate family being Anglican, this made sense. I had no issue being in the church, as it was a reflection of my Nana and her wishes. Fine.

However, my Uncle, who is a minister and travels the world ‘spreading the gospel’, got up and said a few words about Nana and all that, etc. But then proceeded into a full-on preach session to the whole congregation, who were there to mourn the loss and celebrate the life of my Nana, not to be preached at. He went on about how he had Jesus and God in his head but not in his heart, until he went to to the Vietnam war and found Jesus there, and went on about if we don’t have Jesus in our hearts, then we should definitely turn to Him and embrace Him. Furthermore, he offered little cards full of information on how to accept Jesus into your life following the funeral.

W. T. F.

Firstly, I don’t like being preached to. This behaviour infuriates me. Fair enough, believe what you want to believe, but don’t shove your beliefs down my throat. I like to think I have a pretty solid foundation of my own ethical, moral and religious beliefs, and I don’t need someone else telling me how to think.

Secondly, this was not the time to be preaching to people – this was my Nana’s (his MOTHER’S) funeral, not a Sunday church congregation. I found it highly disrespectful to be using the lectern at a funeral as a podium for preaching the gospel, even if my Nana was a religious person.

Not only this, but the priest actually endorsed my uncle’s tangent and, when he’d finished his ramble, said, “Yes, a lesson for all – if you don’t have Jesus in your heart, do it!”.

And here is where my major problem stands. Whenever someone tries to pull this shit on me, I always walk away thinking, “But why? Why should I?”. There’s never any reason given as to why I should accept Jesus into my life. Only that I should do it, and if I don’t I’m a “bad” person. I never say anything directly because, as I’ve said above, I have nothing against people’s religious beliefs – believe what you want to. But seriously, if someone hands you a pill and says, “Take this”, you don’t just do it, you ask, “Why?”. You need to have reasons for it, even if it’s something that only makes sense to you personally.

/end rant.

Not only have these major events occurred, but my sister got major food poisoning on the day she was supposed to visit for my brother’s birthday, and my cousin was almost in a major car accident – if it hadn’t been for her swerving at the right moment, she probably would have been killed or at least severely injured.

I just need some “time out” from life right now – it’s all becoming so overwhelming – and while I know it’s difficult to not dwell on the rotten things that happen in life, sometimes you need to pay some attention to the shit that happens around you, because it makes appreciating those wonderful things that little bit easier. You never know what you’ve got till it’s gone, that kind of thing.

I thank the Gods for my family, my friends, and in some cases complete strangers who supported us though the events of the last couple of weeks. The energy field of love and support is so strong that I can literally feel it. Thank you.

Late night rambles, but you know – that’s what this site is for.

Yes she was 100 years old, she was healthy (despite being borderline deaf and mostly blind), but she was taken suddenly today.

It’s such a huge shock, and it probably wouldn’t have affected me so deeply if it hadn’t happened so close to everything else.

Wouldn’t it be great to be able to choose the time for these things? I guess we’re not given the ability to do that, since we’d probably never choose a time.

Rest in peace now, Gran-Nan. We’ll miss you xx

Work has been kicking my ass lately. I’m getting sick of the fact that my boss doesn’t give two rat’s testicles about his employees. For example, when I left on Friday (because, you know, my GRANDMOTHER DIED), the first thing he asked our payroll lady was a) how long was I going to be away for, and b) what are my leave entitlements in relation to my grandmother passing away. What a fuckwit! How fucking insensitive can you be?!

Then my Dad has a heart attack on Sunday (which I’ll give you an update on in a sec, because that’s a post in it’s own right), I called on Monday (day of the funeral) to say that Dad has had a “massive” (the doctor’s words, not mine) heart attack and I’m not sure of how he’s going right now, and whether I’d be in on Tuesday. He said, “That’s fine, see you tomorrow” and hung up. FUCKWIT.

So anyway, I’m getting myself wound up. Dad went into hospital, as per last post, on Sunday 15th May. He had a stent put in his heart and was in the Intensive Care Unit for a couple of days, before they moved him to a regular ward since he no longer needed the ICU treatment. He was running a bit of a fever on the Wednesday, and obviously this means his body is fighting infection somewhere, so they put him on a drip with some antibiotics.
Well, of course his body is reacting differently at the moment, and he had a severe allergic reaction to the antibiotics, going into anaphylactic shock. He was on the phone to my Mum at the time and said, “Gosh, I don’t feel so good at the moment” – he was shaking all over and couldn’t control it. Mum told him to buzz the nurse, which he did three times before yelling out for help (all the while my Mum’s on the phone listening to all of this – can you imagine how you’d feel? I’d be sick..). They gave him a shot of adrenaline and then a steroid shot to balance everything out. He was fine after that but his muscles were all weak and he felt like he’d run a marathon.

He came home on Friday 20th, and it was so good to have him home. I said the whole time that he’d probably heal better being at home, getting rest, being in his own clothes (rather than the hospital gowns!) and in familiar surrounds. He’s still having a hard time getting around without being completely exhausted – just a walk from the lounge to the kitchen is an effort – but he’s on the road to recovery.

Thanks for all your support, guys – it means a lot to receive messages from around the world with notes of support and well-wishes, sometimes from people you don’t even know and definitely from people who didn’t/don’t know my Nana or my father. The online community, with its few exceptions (there are always a few exceptions!) is a wonderful thing to be a part of.

This afternoon, my dad had a heart attack.

Thankfully, it wasn’t fatal, but he had to go to the local ER, and then to the General Hospital about an hour away. They did an angiogram and then had to put a stent in his heart to stop the clotting. He went off to hospital around 3:30, and we only just got home from the hospital about 40 minutes ago (11:40pm).

He’s doing well, just a bit light-headed and he is on monitors and everything at the Hospital. Otherwise in good spirits – he’s coherent and was joking about with the nurses. He’ll be there for the next few days, meaning he’ll miss my Nana’s funeral tomorrow afternoon.

Let’s hope things don’t happen in threes in this instance.

I did.

My Nana’s gone. The stubborn, gorgeous, matriarch of my mum’s side of the family is gone. She passed at 9:00am this morning.

I feel… lost. I didn’t spend a heck of a lot of time with her, not like I know many others spend with their grandparents, but every birthday, Christmas and Easter, Mother’s/Father’s Day we’d spend with them. And now she’s gone.

I don’t know what to do next. I’m trying to be a support for my parents but in terms of actually doing anything, I don’t know. This is the first grandparent, first immediate family member that I’ve lost.

Thanks in advance for your support.

Nana – Rest in Peace. No more pain or suffering. We’ll miss you.

My Nana is on her way out, after many years of pain, suffering and heartache. She’s been too stubborn to go up till now, but today was the first time she’s mentioned death, and she was asking about everyone and telling my mum she was going to die.

My heart is in my throat and my stomach is in knots. While I know this had to happen at some point, I don’t know if I’m a hundred percent ready for this one right now – I’ve always seen my Nana as a strong woman, who never took any shit from anyone. She has been a real matriarch, and while I’ve seen her downturn over the last 5 or so years, I still didn’t expect this to happen now.

I went to see a psychic a few weeks ago, and she said the reason I’ve had so many people I know pass away in the last twelve months (4 funerals in 12 months is kind of rough) is because the Universe has seen I’m ready to handle it. I don’t know if I can handle this one…

I don’t mean to complain – I love my life right now; I have a great job, a wonderful home, a loving husband and all those things that make life awesome – but I still feel like I’m lacking something.  I don’t like routine, and thus my job tends to get me down.  Not because of the work, but because of the routine I have to go through every day: get up, have breakfast, have a shower, brush teeth, do hair, put on makeup, get ass out the door, then go to work, lunch at 12:00, back to work, go home, eat dinner, browse the net, go to bed.  Rinse and repeat.

I think I’ll feel better about everything once I get my provisional licence (Ps)– I will be able to drive to work and not have to rush my mornings (another thing I hate is rushing and being put on a time limit).  I’m halfway to getting my Ps now – over halfway, in fact – and my dad mentioned to my mum that I’m “driving bloody good”, so to get Dad’s tick of approval means a lot, and gives me that much more confidence. I have to do 50 hours supervised driving, and I’ve got 23hrs 45mins left now.  If I do three hours driving a week, I should be ready by mid-October.  And considering we’re nearly in September already now, that’s not too far to go.

I do worry that I’m going to fail the test, but it’s not so much the failure of the test as losing the money I would have spent to take the test – it’s almost $76 to book and take the test, and if they find something wrong with your vehicle, you automatically fail before you even drive!  Then, you lose that money and have to wait 28 days before you can go again.  So that’s my main concern in this whole ordeal.  Otherwise, I’m pretty confident.  Do need to work on parking though, particularly reverse parking.  I think the odds are in my favour, because I’m older than most people going for their Ps (22 rather than 17 or 18), and chances are I’ll be taking the test in my work clothes, which means I’ll look a little more professional than most.  And while that shouldn’t matter, I think it will play a part in making me appear a responsible, sensible adult (which I like to think I am!).

I’m really looking forward to the freedom driving will give us.  I mean, not having to rely on someone to take us to and from the grocery store will be awesome!

Anyway, there’s my ramble for today, to keep you up-to-date.