I can’t believe it’s been two weeks since I last blogged. In a way, it feels like yesterday; in other ways, it feels like millennia.
A lot of things in my life appear this way – that they’ve been around for such a short time yet at the same time feel like they’ve been around my whole life. Like Michael, owning our home, etc. It all feels like it happened yesterday. At the start of this month, it’s been two years since I started my job. Two years. I can’t get over it, it’s unreal. In August, it’ll be three years since we moved back to Tassie, and two years since we got married in November.
I heard a theory about time, which made a lot of sense to me. I don’t know who originally said it, but it was essentially that 1 year of a 10 year old’s life is 1/10th of their lifetime, whereas 1 year of a 50 year old’s life is 1/50th of their lifetime. This is why the years seem to get quicker as we get older, because every year is a smaller fraction of our current existence. I thought it was a pretty interesting concept.
Onto other things, and we (being me and a few girls from the Tas Pagan Alliance) had a full moon ritual the other night at the beach. It was cold, but an amazing experience. This was my first (in over 10 years of identifying as Pagan and around 8 of practicing) group ritual, and it was so nice to have the company, as well as the combined energies of four fabulous women whom I adore. They’re all so strong yet fragile in their own ways, and every time I meet up with them I feel so blessed because I find out just a little more about their lives, and we all open up that little bit more.
Preparation for the Australian Wiccan Conference in September (OMG!) is all under way and I’m so excited – this will be my first Conference so I’m really looking forward to it. It seems like it’s going to be an awesome time.
All this, combined with upcoming pub moots and women’s circles = a very spiritual, ‘coming into my own’ year. I’m feeling very into my Craft at the moment, even if a lot of the time it’s just thinking about what I’d like to be doing 
Anyway, I’m blabbing, I’m really only posting to get another blog post in this month, otherwise it’d never happen.
Sorry for the lack of recent updates – this whole week has been on a completely different track to the last few years so my mind’s a little fucked up.
Work has been kicking my ass lately. I’m getting sick of the fact that my boss doesn’t give two rat’s testicles about his employees. For example, when I left on Friday (because, you know, my GRANDMOTHER DIED), the first thing he asked our payroll lady was a) how long was I going to be away for, and b) what are my leave entitlements in relation to my grandmother passing away. What a fuckwit! How fucking insensitive can you be?!
Then my Dad has a heart attack on Sunday (which I’ll give you an update on in a sec, because that’s a post in it’s own right), I called on Monday (day of the funeral) to say that Dad has had a “massive” (the doctor’s words, not mine) heart attack and I’m not sure of how he’s going right now, and whether I’d be in on Tuesday. He said, “That’s fine, see you tomorrow” and hung up. FUCKWIT.
So anyway, I’m getting myself wound up. Dad went into hospital, as per last post, on Sunday 15th May. He had a stent put in his heart and was in the Intensive Care Unit for a couple of days, before they moved him to a regular ward since he no longer needed the ICU treatment. He was running a bit of a fever on the Wednesday, and obviously this means his body is fighting infection somewhere, so they put him on a drip with some antibiotics.
Well, of course his body is reacting differently at the moment, and he had a severe allergic reaction to the antibiotics, going into anaphylactic shock. He was on the phone to my Mum at the time and said, “Gosh, I don’t feel so good at the moment” – he was shaking all over and couldn’t control it. Mum told him to buzz the nurse, which he did three times before yelling out for help (all the while my Mum’s on the phone listening to all of this – can you imagine how you’d feel? I’d be sick..). They gave him a shot of adrenaline and then a steroid shot to balance everything out. He was fine after that but his muscles were all weak and he felt like he’d run a marathon.
He came home on Friday 20th, and it was so good to have him home. I said the whole time that he’d probably heal better being at home, getting rest, being in his own clothes (rather than the hospital gowns!) and in familiar surrounds. He’s still having a hard time getting around without being completely exhausted – just a walk from the lounge to the kitchen is an effort – but he’s on the road to recovery.
Thanks for all your support, guys – it means a lot to receive messages from around the world with notes of support and well-wishes, sometimes from people you don’t even know and definitely from people who didn’t/don’t know my Nana or my father. The online community, with its few exceptions (there are always a few exceptions!) is a wonderful thing to be a part of.
I thought it might be about time that I posted another blog entry, even though it’s rather obvious that I won’t be posting every day in August now. I started off the first week, and then ran out of things to talk about. I guess that happens when every day is the same old shit, day in and day out.
I don’t mean to complain – I love my life right now; I have a great job, a wonderful home, a loving husband and all those things that make life awesome – but I still feel like I’m lacking something. I don’t like routine, and thus my job tends to get me down. Not because of the work, but because of the routine I have to go through every day: get up, have breakfast, have a shower, brush teeth, do hair, put on makeup, get ass out the door, then go to work, lunch at 12:00, back to work, go home, eat dinner, browse the net, go to bed. Rinse and repeat.
I think I’ll feel better about everything once I get my provisional licence (Ps)– I will be able to drive to work and not have to rush my mornings (another thing I hate is rushing and being put on a time limit). I’m halfway to getting my Ps now – over halfway, in fact – and my dad mentioned to my mum that I’m “driving bloody good”, so to get Dad’s tick of approval means a lot, and gives me that much more confidence. I have to do 50 hours supervised driving, and I’ve got 23hrs 45mins left now. If I do three hours driving a week, I should be ready by mid-October. And considering we’re nearly in September already now, that’s not too far to go.
I do worry that I’m going to fail the test, but it’s not so much the failure of the test as losing the money I would have spent to take the test – it’s almost $76 to book and take the test, and if they find something wrong with your vehicle, you automatically fail before you even drive! Then, you lose that money and have to wait 28 days before you can go again. So that’s my main concern in this whole ordeal. Otherwise, I’m pretty confident. Do need to work on parking though, particularly reverse parking. I think the odds are in my favour, because I’m older than most people going for their Ps (22 rather than 17 or 18), and chances are I’ll be taking the test in my work clothes, which means I’ll look a little more professional than most. And while that shouldn’t matter, I think it will play a part in making me appear a responsible, sensible adult (which I like to think I am!).
I’m really looking forward to the freedom driving will give us. I mean, not having to rely on someone to take us to and from the grocery store will be awesome!
Anyway, there’s my ramble for today, to keep you up-to-date.
Inspired by my dear friend Sarah, and after seeing this on a couple of other blogs, it caused me to reflect back on the last decade and see how much I’ve changed in what really is a relatively short amount of time. It still seems strange to me that I can even remember back ten years – I know that I’m 22 and that I was 12 then, but it still doesn’t seem right that I should be able to remember back that far. Anyway, here goes…
2000
Age 12. In Grade 6, my final year of primary school. I remember I had a major crush on a guy in my class. Getting ready to head off to high school. Killing Heidi were (and still are) my favourite band. Started really getting involved with computers and webdesign.
2001
Age 13. My first year of high school. Felt awkward and out-of-place. Met some beautiful people, and some mean ones too. Discovered my real love for webdesign and got stuck into it. Had many high school crushes. Met my best friend (at the time), Sarah. Started wearing makeup. Achieved high grades and was awarded an Outstanding Academic Achievement award.
2002
Age 14. Barely remember it, but this is the year I started dance classes at school and fell in love with it. Discovered more friends and made my first male best friend. Got my site hosted for the very first time. Started learning how to use FTP. Achieved high grades and was awarded an Outstanding Academic Achievement award.
2003
Age 15. Fell madly in love with a guy I met online, only to be dumped and told he’d been cheating on me. In the interim, fell for another guy online (Michael) and met him in November. Lost the ‘V-Plates’. High school musical production, great fun and awesome experience. Achieved high grades and was awarded an Outstanding Academic Achievement award, along with three subject awards for Social Science, Dance and Media Studies. Passed Learner’s Permit test and started driving lessons with my mum and dad.
2004
Age 16. Final year of high school. Many trips back and forth to Melbourne to see Michael. Entered the Rock Eisteddfod Challenge with my dance class, and came fourth out of about 20 schools. Grades dropped a bit, enough to miss out on the OAA award for the fourth time. Didn’t care; was in love.
2005
Age 17. First year of college (Year 11). Had a ball this year – great classes, more relaxed learning atmosphere. Studied English, Maths, Psychology & Sociology, Environmental Science and Religion & Philosophy. Hated Enviro Science, and quit. Went to Vanuatu in September for Michael’s sister’s wedding. LOVED IT. Decided to move to Melbourne at the end of the year to be with Michael.
2006
Age 18. Living with Michael and his mum & stepdad. Enjoyed it, but a lot of tension at times. Studied Year 12 via distance education but gave up. Started looking for work. Got my first proper job with a government initiative for apprentices. Loved it. Bought Inspirata.org. First nephew arrived, Jonah. Got engaged on New Year’s Eve.
2007
Age 19. Continued working. Moved into our own apartment in April. Enjoyed the freedom but it was expensive. Got our first pet, Layla. Got my first and second tattoos.
2008
Age 20. Got another kitty to keep Layla company, and called him Hendrix. Went to my first arena concert to see Ozzy Osbourne. Came out of the broom closet. By June, decided we’d had enough of paying an exorbatant amount of rent and decided to move back to Tasmania. Got my third (and kind of fourth) tattoos. Packed up and left in August. Moved in with Mum & Dad to get us on our feet. Michael got a job at a printer cartridge store. I continued looking for work.
2009
Age 21. Huge party for my 21st, with friends coming down from Melbourne. Layla passed away. Cried. A lot. Moved into a rental. Bought Terri.nu Had two job interviews in May, and accepted one position as Legal Secretary. Started living a little, since we now had two incomes. Decided to get married with 5 months to plan. Married in November.
2010
Age 22. Managed to hold down my job for 12 months +. Lost a close family member to suicide. Moved out of the rental and bought our own house. Became DIY-lover. Resced Delilah. Continuing to work. Michael’s best mate got married. And … ?
